New Year's Resolutions...Grades Five and Six

More funnies from the grade 5 and 6 students!  They were assigned (as a time filler after the rest of the Social Studies material for today was covered) a worksheet titled "My New Year's Resolutions" with the task of filling in at least two resolutions in each category on the page.  I present to you the highest highlights in each category!  Spelling and grammar are unchanged (and yes, I'm shaking my head over some of it, too!).

Resolutions to live a healthier life:
Do not eat candy.
Work out.
Shower a couple times every week.
Do a work out

Resolutions to help my parents:
Sower every day (shower)
Behave and obey
Do better to clean out the house

Resolutions to do well in school:
Right neter
Lern how to spel  (hahahhah.....*cough*...hahahha!  Same student for both of these so far...)
Don't slack off in my work.
Write neeter
Do my homework at night and not get homework

Resolutions to live a happier life:
Sower more (shower)
eat good
Lose a couple of pounds
Don't argue with my brothers
Get all Pokemon in Pokemon Heart Gold
Play more games
No homework

Resolutions to be good to my friends:
be nice
be good
Help my friends with there problems
Be nicer
go to their birthday

Resolutions to protect the environment:
Don't leter
conseve energe
Don't step on plants.  Except for grass.

Resolutions to be a good citizen:
Save power
Help the Citizen in the Town

Life According to Grades 5/6

Life According to 5/6 Grade Students:

Humour abounds when discussing the “olden days” with kids.  Today’s discussion was an introduction to electricity and the role it plays in life.  The corresponding assignment required students to think of five electrical appliances, describe their purposes, and then tell what people did before they had electricity.  The students took this very seriously...and fortunately I decided to not even glance carefully at the answers until the kids were gone!  

Highlights:
(wonky formatting!  The responses are in the following pattern:

Appliance
Purpose
What People Did Before Electricity )

Razor                                     

Get rid of facial hair                          

They didn’t

Toaster                                  

Make toast                                          

Did not make toast

Kettle                                     

Boil water                                             

Didn’t boil water

Microwave                          

Warm stuff up                                   

Didn’t warm stuff up

Microwave                          

So you can eat                                    

No way to warm up food

Coffee Maker                     

Makes coffee                                     

Didn’t make coffee

Internet                                

Shows funny stuff                            

They would hunt

Video Games                      

Play stuff                                              

They built houses

Stereo                                   

Fun                                                         

Work

And....my personal favourite...

TV                                           

Shows the world                              

They probably threw stones

The Week of the Christmas Concert

Twas the week of the Christmas Concert and all through the school
Not a student was obeying a single school rule.
The little ones were fussing, the big ones were rude...
the teachers were grumpy, and, yes, fussing, too.

The schedules were changing again every minute,
you never quite knew how the others would spin it!

The practices, how endless!  The lines were so wrong!
The students had seemed to forget every song.
Then I, with my whistle, and evil glare of death,
while avoiding a tantrum and taking a deep breath...

LOST IT!

"SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET!  DON'T BE SO DARN MEAN!
I TOLD YOU TO LISTEN, YES I AM THE QUEEN!
NO, you CAN'T use the bathroom, you CAN'T get a drink...
I DON'T want to hear it, please, let me THINK!"

Then, what to my angry blue eyes did appear?
A cat, in a hat, with a box, and a beard?

No, not a cat, nor a hat, box, or beard...
...just another dear friend who was acting quite weird!
The students were awestruck, but still acted absurd,
while I hoped and prayed that my tantrum wasn't heard!

And later this day, what could happen next?
I encountered a teacher, who was really quite vexed.
My students, you see, had not behaved well,
in French class you'd think they'd been under a spell!

They clucked and they snored, while supposed to be singing
their French song, MUSIC, was supposed to be ringing.
One little "angel", smacked her head on the table...
...over and over for as long as she was able.

The French teacher growled as only French teachers do,
while out in the hallway I heard something new.

"Drop and do push-ups!" A teacher did cry,
so I peeked 'round the corner in order to spy.
Her students, how naughty, her patience was gone.
Alas, it was thus through the school since dawn.

So what might come next?  What atrocities wait?
What new evil could befall on tomorrow's date?
We wait and we wonder, while hitting our heads...
...perhaps all the teachers should be put onto meds.